


i will carry all your shame

by fallawaysus



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Songfic, johnnyboy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7391482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallawaysus/pseuds/fallawaysus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a joshler fic based off the song johnny boy i apologise if some parts dont make sense and for bad grammar and punctuation hope u like it :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i will carry all your shame

**Author's Note:**

> my @ on twitter is joshlersus pls dont bully me for bad writing i tried

homophobia. Noun, dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people.   
10:15am. Sunday, church day. Dressed in a black shirt, jeans, smart leather shoes and a grey tie Tyler Joseph sits in isle 8 questioning his current surroundings. You see religion was a huge part of his life, always had been ever since he could remember. His family brought him up that way, said that’s the only way he’ll ever stay pure. For 17 years he’d agree with them, “mums the word” as his motto but on his 18th birthday the last thing Tyler could picture were some random dude’s hands around his neck, and their liquor coated lips pressed against his lilac pair and no matter how hard he tries he can’t deny the female species never made his stomach pit catch fire like he did, it felt like a rock concert when the crowd begins to mosh, it felt like every bone in his body was begging for something more than just lips. You see it’s hard to understand but putting it in a simple way would be saying: Tyler Joseph enjoyed kissing boys, no. Tyler Joseph loved kissing boys it just isn’t that easy.  
After what felt like forever the church began to empty as the service came to an end. Same old service every Sunday, blah blah god is watching blah blah homosexuality is wrong. Tyler could finally say he hated attending, he almost felt guilty for turning up every week. He could already feel the remarks from his family clawing at his back, gripping his throat. If they ever found out about what happened December 1st they would rip him to shreds completely and that petrified him. his sick, twisted thoughts were side tracked like usual just as he was coming up with a solution when he felt his mother grip his arm tightly causing his whole body to shudder.  
“you okay Tyler?” she questioned sounding sincere as she stroked his head like a dog continuously, but he knew full well she wasn’t, it’s an act and quite honestly it made Tyler’s stomach turn every time he saw her smile at him, every time she picked a conversation with him. All the parents and their children from the neighbourhood viewed Tyler as repulsive for never spending time with his mum, but if only they knew his mother wanted nothing more from him than a daughter in law and grandchildren. As long as he didn’t turn out gay she couldn’t care less about his feelings, it’d always been that way and it would stay that way. She’d be happy if he was not and it hurt him to think of that, isn’t a mother supposed to love?  
Tyler shrugged, “fine” he croaked out bluntly. the lack of speech during the service had caused his throat to go dry, his own homo love scene played in his head like a dvd stuck on repeat, he couldn’t blank it from his mind. It was like his brain was forcing him to watch it like some kind of mean older brother and he wanted nothing more than to just go home and go to sleep. eventually at least.   
\-----------------------------------------------

1am. Tyler can’t sleep, a month passed since the last church service, he can’t face church when his thoughts surround one thing that could get him kicked out, his head keeps him awake, his questioning sexuality is killing him slowly. He’s forcing himself to fall for girls, anything to make his family happy. His body chills are the only thing pushing him to remember he’s still alive. He sits up in his bed and stares at his reflection in the dark, his naked body glares back, He stays home from work often and His once earthy, woken eyes had faded to a dark copper horizon of trees lit up with a single torch, that torch being his mouth, a mouth full of words begging to burst and disperse like butterflies retreating from danger. He was his own master controlling himself and he knew he wanted nothing more than to speak up about the situation he was in, but the dreamy, drowned out version of himself pierced through his own lips with a needle and thread forcing them to keep quiet, the silence will save you were the repeated words of truth, at least that’s what his brain had whispered to him, and it frightened him how even he was begging himself to not be gay. he began acting like everything was fine, whenever anyone asked he’d shrug it off as if it were nothing and he never really told a lie but everything had been pushing him so much recently that he decided it’s alright too this time?  
\-------------------------------------------------------  
The sun.  
It was now 3am, the light would soon take its rightful place on its throne and Tyler had to get out to clear his head. Now.  
Columbus Ohio Is much more peaceful at 3am, no people about just empty roads and the sound of the light summer breeze that echoed forever. Tyler walked along the white lines painted on the ground like they were laid out as a game for his own entertainment. He felt empty, but it felt nice. He felt comfort in his own loneliness, it was his only dependable friend. Loneliness never told him what to do, not once did it mention who he should be. Loneliness just stayed silent and that’s why Tyler craved it so much. 

He walked for ages until he saw something, someone in fact lying against the church wall. Tyler knew they we’re probably drunk and would probably attack him for stepping closer, but it’d gotten to the point where he would be begging them to hit him now instead of begging them not to. He stepped nearer, the unclear boy came into focus at last. Tyler wasn’t one for love poems but he could write a thousand just about the colour of his hair. His hair was blue, not normal blue but the colour of healing bruises, it was alcohol coated blue but it was not royal, it was laced with strands of brown, tiny roots of auburn thread throughout, which Tyler guessed was the colour of his hair before he dyed it. He couldn’t help but notice how crimson marked his plain white t-shirt, or stop his eyes from trailing up towards the boys nose where lay a bed of brown, soaked up blood and a silver ring. The air smelt and tasted like salt and metal due to the bruised boy bleeding out beneath him. The sight was quite scary but it was too late to run away now.   
“uh, hello” Tyler spoke up almost as if he was asking a question, his voice was quiet and husky due to the cold morning air, it made him sound weak. Yuck.  
The boy tilted his head up to reveal a pair of brown eyes one surrounded by pale skin and the other a puddle bruise in the shade purple. Tyler took a short breath not quite sure how this man ended up so battered at nearly 4am on Monday morning but there was no time for questioning.   
“hey man” the kid choked, blood falling from his lips like a raindrop as he spoke, his voice was husky, attractive and he was definitely from around the neighbourhood, but Tyler stopped wondering why he’d never seen this rather pretty man before when he sat up resting his head against the wall, Tyler noticed his slightly off breathing pattern and tried to stop himself feeling any sympathy for him, he was probably just involved in a fight outside a bar somewhere, it was most likely alcohols doing.  
“you’re uh, you’re bleeding” Tyler spoke up. he felt his legs shaking beneath him he hated this. This whole position he was in; he should’ve ran when he had the chance.  
He nodded   
“um why?” Tyler questioned sounded slightly annoyed that the boy wouldn’t just talk for him.  
The blue haired boy smiled and turned to face Tyler, he could almost see the hurt in his eyes, Tyler began to wonder if his alcoholic assumptions were true or not, the boy looked far too hurt for this to just be a rough and tumble. his purple and black bruises were dusted with guilt and it was hard to work out his exact emotions due to his messy features. He sighed and a sigh never meant good news, Tyler’s heart began to race as the blue haired boy opened his mouth.  
“because I’m fucking gay”   
And in that moment Tyler’s heart sunk, not just to the bottom of his stomach, to the bottom of his feet, he tried to talk but nothing came out it was like the impact of the boy’s sentence had caused him to swallow his own voice, just like before when he tried to speak up about this particular topic. It was as if his body heard the word gay and shut down all at once, he could barely breathe, and then the tears came but he didn’t know why, he didn’t even know the boy’s name. when Tyler cried there was almost a feeling of guilt that rushed through everyone surrounding him, his eyelashes were so long the water would cause them to clump together like a Halloween bouquet of roses. The salt brimming in his lids would just fall with no explanation, his bloodshot eyes weighed him down and his chest turned to lead grey. when Tyler cried everyone would just stop to watch him. Even the broken man crouching at his feet couldn’t help but just look.  
\------  
The bruised boy watched as Tyler wiped away tears with the sleeve of his Adidas sweater he couldn’t stop himself from noticing every inch, every detail that coated Tyler’s body. He noticed how his lips changed colour from their original lily pink shade to whitish almost colourless, completely pallid in fact when he cried and how dark circles held up high by veins danced around his forgiving brown eyes, eyes that yelled I’m sorry over and over again. He noted how his hands look like pianist’s hands. Delicate each finger lined with talent, and how his wrist was wrapped up in a cuff of ink that he wishes he knew the story of. His skin was covered with little scratches and scars so old he doesn’t remember the tale behind them and his hair was dark much like the way he himself seemed. He appeared almost too dead to even be alive, breathing, living at all in fact but he was more than just lovely, his complexion, his hands. No! his whole body was enticing to the boy. Tyler was something so rare it worried him that if he just ran away now he’d never see his face again and even though they just met the boy knew he had too.  
After a while Tyler had no water left in his system to transform into tears, so he sat next to the bleeding boy and took the cigarette he’d just put between his lips and placed it in his own, sparking it and taking a long drag. Tyler had never smoked before and this would probably be the only time, but it felt like his body had lost itself and to him that’s the greatest occurrence that could ever happen. The blue boy beamed at Tyler as his eyes lit up like a child as he exhaled the smoke from his open mouth watching it disappear into the crisp morning air. he was fascinated too easily by the smallest things. Tyler Joseph was the perfect mix of pain and beauty.  
“I’m josh” the bruised boy spoke up breaking the thick echoing silence between them and also finally revealing the information Tyler’s head was practically begging for, he smiled, relieved he finally knew.  
“I’m Tyler” he said blowing smoke out again like before. Josh turned his head towards the sky his eyes following Tyler’s release of smoke.  
“that’s pretty”  
The word pretty made his stomach swell up. No one ever complimented his name, it was dull anyway. Who could ever love a Tyler. A two syllable word was boring; his name was far from extraordinary so why would he say that. Was he lying? was it a joke? He began to feel sick. Once again he was side tracked by his own thoughts threatening him, it was becoming a routine now and like every other routine it made him want to just disappear. Josh’s soft voice drew him back to reality  
“are you okay dude?” he smiled, his split lip turning Tyler on that little bit more.  
He put out the cigarette he stole from Josh and turned to face him and then he smiled a genuine happy smile something so rare for himself to do and for the first time in a long time It felt right to do so and he stared at josh, and then he grabbed josh. Eyes shutting and faces intertwining in the prettiest way and in his kiss Tyler could taste the revolution, the situation yelled passion and the pair couldn’t help but smile into one another’s lips. It was gentle and soft and it felt like the way rain feels against your skin when you want it so badly and it felt like flowers, so many flowers all blooming at once, it was like Josh had brought all of Tyler’s lost pieces back home to him, it felt like he had mixed the perfect acrylic shades to form Josh’s skin tone so he could paint this scene, and no of course poetry couldn’t compare to the way it felt to kiss him and maybe Josh had turned him so fragile with his rose tinted kiss that Tyler never wanted it to end, a constant loop of this minute would be just okay. Josh’s hand rested below Tyler’s ear running small lines across his sandy skin, his fingertips felt golden and the electric energy flowing throughout the pair left them breathless after the kissing stopped finally but unfortunately, and so they lay alongside each other in the un-cut grass listening to the sound of their own heavy breathing and in that moment it didn’t matter that no one really knew their minds, it didn’t matter that Tyler was broken or that josh was gay, they weren’t just confused teenagers asking for some kind of solace. They were just existing like everybody else and for once it felt so right to just exist.  
\---------------------------------------------  
The pair lay in the grass for an hour or so before Tyler realises the time and that his mum will begin to worry, not that he cared about her feelings, he just didn’t feel like he deserved a black eye if his mother found out he’d spent the morning alone with another man  
“goodbye” Tyler giggled standing up and brushing the grass from his legs, his black jeans were now stained but he didn’t mind.  
“where you going?” josh asked shaking the daisies Tyler positioned in his hair out causing them to fall into his lap. He sat there concerned that his new love interest would just leave already without an explanation.  
Tyler was half way up the street already when he finally processed josh’s words and began to shout back for him.   
“MEET ME HERE SAME TIME TOMORROW JOSHUA” he bellowed 100% sure the whole of Ohio could hear.  
But Josh said nothing, he just laid back in the grass, his cheeks reddening at the use of his proper name. he sparked up his cigarette and closed his eyes trying his hardest to not lose the taste of Tyler’s lips in the nicotine meal he dined at.  
\----------------------  
The pair had been meeting every day for almost 2 months now, same spot, same time to discuss anything and everything. Tyler had learnt a lot about josh in the weeks they’d spent together against the church wall. He learnt that josh had been attending the same services as him since they were 10 and that he enjoyed his hair bright so he could be seen and that he had a sleeve tattoo that appeared as a thousand romance fictions contrasting with a gallery of galaxies. Tyler hoped to one day get lost in the ink forest that coated his lower arm. He loved to trace the shapes when they lie together against the wall that was scratched with tally marks for each kiss the boys shared. Josh learnt some about Tyler too. He learnt that Tyler was as closeted as closeted comes all because of his parent’s views and that the ring on his finger was a purity ring but they both knew Tyler was just too scared to tell his parents about all the things they’d done. He learnt that Tyler could sing and that his voice came in waves, it was the kind of voice that clung to your skull, the kind of voice to bring your mother to tears and cause your father to fall to his knees. Josh could hear the cry for help every time Tyler’s voice cracked as he sang songs only he knew about, josh was honoured he shared them with him, almost like their little secret. Obviously only one of their many secrets. He was completely mesmerised by him yet he knew he had flaws but it was enough for josh, Tyler was more than enough for josh, and he finally began admitting to himself that he was falling in love.  
\-----------  
Josh pulled his lips from Tyler’s for the sixth time that evening and sighed.   
“never gets old huh joseph” the boy smirked.  
Since their last meeting josh had dyed his hair red, Tyler liked it, said it made him look less soft, it was more sunset spilled and warm and if Tyler was cliché he would’ve associated his boy’s hair with fire, but instead he preferred to talk about it in a more personal way and connect it to the colour of his favourite basketball jacket from high school. Back when he was captain of the team those were the best days of his life. Unfortunately, the jacket was thrown out a few years ago as punishment for Tyler defending a kid at church who was confused about his sexuality. His mother screamed at him repeatedly once they got home from their annual Sunday service. she grabbed his shoulders shaking him calling him a sinner over and over until he began to cry and Tyler had never been more scared of his mother than he was that night. He couldn’t sleep her shouting resonated in his head like your younger sibling’s worst nightmare and couldn’t imagine how she’d react now if she knew. Since that day Tyler felt like a little piece of him was always missing and slowly but surely Josh was filling the jackets void.   
Most of josh’s bruises had healed by now, he still had the odd cut but Tyler made sure to compliment him on them always, kissing them as he held his cheeks in the palms of his hands and running his fingers across the uneven skin where the scratches were buried. The pair often lost track of time when they were together and that was there favourite part, the staring into each other’s eyes and sex were just the basics. Every day they spent together was another day worth living for.

Tyler stared up at josh from his lap and began to speak.  
“how come you never talk about your parents” he asked genuinely worried about Josh’s home life.  
“I didn’t think you’d really care too much so I never mentioned them” Josh laughed at how concerned the boy was. “they don’t care that I’m gay if that’s what you’re trying to get at Tyler” he smiled and Tyler’s heart stopped forgetting how beautiful he looked when he did that. Josh leant down to kiss his lips as his cheeks began to redden almost matching the shade of his hair. “we can go see them if you like, my mums always asking after you” Tyler froze knowing josh had told his mother about him he longed for the day he could do the same.  
The red boy grabbed the younger one’s hand and they started to run down the street together. They reached Josh’s house just in time as it began to rain. A lady opened the door and greeted them with a smile kissing Josh on the cheek as he bent down to her height. Tyler could feel his palms sweating and his heart practically bursting out of his chest as josh’s mother reached to shake his hand.   
\-----------------------------------  
For most of the evening the duns and Tyler had been laughing at young photos of Josh and talking about almost everything and for the first time in a long time Tyler felt happy not to be alone.   
Josh showed Tyler his room and explained all about his drum kit and how he learnt to play a few years’ prior Josh would smile each time he glanced at Tyler and caught his eyes staring at his hands while he twirled the drumstick through each finger as he continued to let his life unfold in front of the boy’s eyes. he couldn’t help but feel the urge to kiss Josh every time he mentioned something he loved, nothing made him happier than seeing him smile. Each time he did it took him back to the first time they met and he couldn’t help but feel his stomach turn.   
It was now half 3 in the morning and the pair lay in Josh’s double bed legs tangled just breathing, just the way they liked it.  
“you don’t know how lucky you are Josh” Tyler spoke up breaking the silence.  
Josh said nothing just assured Tyler he was listening by squeezing his hand in the gentlest manner.  
“you’re so lucky to have parents who love you like that, parents who are okay with you kissing me, making love to me, they just want the best for you and that’s all I could ever ask for in a family”   
then the tears came again.  
Josh recognised the whimpers from the first time Tyler cried.   
“I’m sorry ty, I’m so fucking sorry my beautiful boy, you deserve so much more” he repeated in a whisper a thousand times against the skin of Tyler’s neck.  
Josh kissed Tyler’s hands and brought him into his chest and Tyler finally admitted to himself how safe he was here, how safe the red boy made him feel and he thanked himself that he checked on Josh that Monday morning, praised himself for making the first move, admired himself for letting this man save him, he viewed Josh as the first proper prize he’d won. For he was not lying beside him in bed, he’d made a bed inside Tyler’s brain and he kissed away the bad thoughts, the sleepless nights, the death Tyler craved so bad, he took it all away and the things Tyler would do to repay him.  
Joshua dun was a soulmate.  
\-------------------------------------------------  
The summer quickly passed and the long cold nights began. Today was December 1st, Tyler’s birthday and he sits on the floor of Josh’s room with his eyes shut waiting for the surprise Josh is so desperate to show him.  
“you ready” Tyler can hear the smile in his voice and the butterflies erupt inside him like every time he lays eyes on Josh. Tyler nodded, feeling his cheeks heat up as he came in contact with the oh so familiar skin he loved.  
“open your eyes then Joseph” Josh laughed.  
Tyler slowly opened his eyes to see the present in his lap. He didn’t say anything he just cried and cried and god he cried. In front of him was a jacket that looked identical to his captain one, each stitch the same and the exact replica of JOSEPH plastered across the back in the prettiest italics. Josh payed attention to detail because there was no difference in the jacket from high school and the one in front of him.   
“how” was all Tyler could say through his tears.  
“anything for you Tyler you know that” he wrapped his arms around the younger boy and kissed his hair, the familiar scent of home washed in his roots. The pair stand there for a while just hugging, just realising how lucky they both were to find love like that.  
“so Josh, uh I want you to come to my house tonight my parents bake for my birthday every year and I want you to be there with me, as my date” Tyler whispered almost choking on the date part.  
They stand in silence for a minute until Josh nods. He’d do everything in his power to stay away from that revolting household but he wanted Tyler to be happy. It’s for his sake, always for his sake.  
\-----------------------  
The pair made their way to the Joseph house, each step Josh took he regretted. He couldn’t help but feel unsafe here after all Tyler had told him. He shuddered when a pair of lips touched his neck, the recognisable feeling of safety flooding his veins with adrenaline.  
“it’s okay baby relax” the smaller boy said reassuring him and kissing him one last time. Just then the front door opened to reveal a taller girl who had an odd look on her face. Tyler barged past her grabbing Josh’s hand pulling him inside the house and into the dining room where his family sat around a table.   
“happy birthd- “a blonde, older women who Josh assumed was Tyler’s mum began to speak. She stopped mid-sentence when she noticed Josh behind her ‘straight son’.   
The family gathered round the table to eat normal conversations were being engaged in until his mum opened her mouth and questioned:  
“who’s your friend sweetheart?” her fake smile making Josh feel sick, the same way he remembers Tyler telling him it made himself feel, but not half as sick as he was about to feel when Tyler began talking.  
“mum, dad this is Josh, he uh” he stuttered his hand shaking and his face blank as if he were about to say his vows “he’s my boyfriend guys, I’m gay and I always have been I just couldn’t tell you and were in love and I’ve never felt more alive and I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted mum, but I’m happy doesn’t that make you feel good”   
Tyler was smiling too much to even feel the pain when his father’s fist came in contact with the side of his jaw, blood again and again hit after hit, the boy’s body becoming more fragile by the second, bruises settling down on his dehydrated skin. He was too weak to cry this time. The words disgrace and vile were thrown back and forth at Tyler like a game of tennis. He couldn’t even focus on his parents abuse when he heard Josh begin to cry. This was the first time he ever saw tears fall from his eyes and he hated it, in that moment Tyler saw himself in Josh, his old self the self before he stumbled across the bruised boy. Josh looked so scared like that night Tyler couldn’t sleep and just kept staring at his reflection. He cried like the night Tyler’s mother screamed at him for the event with the kid at church. For the first time Tyler was frightened of Josh, because Tyler was frightened of himself. The red boy reached out to grab his hand but he swats it away instantly, he wasn’t safe anymore, he just stared at him and his family and it was silent at least it was in reality. The thoughts were back his own head, the bad ones, the ones that clawed at his insides and whispered ways in which he could make himself lonelier his head was screeching for help, begging for someone to save it and not even Josh could now.  
Tyler ran, he ran and he ran and I’m sure he never stopped running that night because he couldn’t bare the man he stayed alive for seeing the real him, the broken Tyler that no one ever loved, the Tyler, Josh would push away as fast as he could. The Tyler who wished he wasn’t even himself.  
\----  
3 weeks had passed since the birthday and since Tyler left and he hadn’t text or called once, no one knew where he was and the police just gave up looking. Josh hadn’t left his room in almost 2 weeks and no one had heard him speak in days. He hardly used his drums anymore and not a single piece of happiness radiated off the once bruised boy. It slowly but surely hit him that Tyler wouldn’t return anytime soon and that the body he’d gotten so used to holding wouldn’t lie next to him at night and sing anymore. Josh’s once happy face had turned to a colourless shell of a man who once loved, he wanted nothing more than to hear that boy say his name again, in his soft American accent, the one he adored so badly. He’d gotten so used to crying that he didn’t notice the tears fall anymore it was so natural that he desired it.  
His mother opened the door walking close to him and crouched next to his bed.   
“Josh I’ve got something for you” she spoke in the softest way possible making sure he knew she felt sympathy.  
The boy whose red hair had faded to a pale pink (a pink Tyler would’ve loved) sat up for the first time in 2 days and took the envelope from his mother’s hands and traced his fingers over the writing, he wanted nothing more right now than to just breakdown again. He knew that writing like the back of his hand. He opened it up and began to read.

 

“Dear josh,  
I’m sorry. You’re probably confused as to when I got the time to write you a letter, but the truth is I knew that would happen, I knew they’d do that to me and you’re probably wondering why I’d let them, but I just wanted them to know Josh, I wanted them to know about the kisses we shared in the grass at 3am, the way your hands felt as you ran them through my hair while I sung to you, the way your raspy voice wrapped me up in its arms and danced around my head. I wanted my parents to know that you’re my pride and joy, that you saved my life. You were the change I craved, the one shout in a room of a million silences, I shared songs with you that I was too scared to even share with myself. I trust you with everything I have. You kissed my brain and explored my thoughts and you actually cared, for the first time someone cared about me. I don’t know where I’m headed right now and I don’t know if I’ll ever return but I’ll make sure the people I meet know Joshua dun is the most beautiful prince I ever laid eyes on. I like to tell myself that were so in love I know what’s on your mind always, that I always know what you’re thinking something beautiful like usual im guessing Joshua? I gave you the complete tour of my head because it’s what you deserved, you offered me shelter, a home in your arms, the safest place I ever visited. I’ll always have a permanent family with you and that’s all I ever asked for remember? I didn’t need my mum to love me like your mum loves you because I got that love in each word you spoke. I cannot exist without you my boy for you are the reason my feet still touch the ground. I can’t even be sappy and compare you to all the stars because you are worth so much more than that, nothing Josh nothing compares to you. let me go now Josh, those words are going to hurt you and believe me I tear stained this paper a thousand times trying to find a positive in leaving you. don’t cry for me my boy, don’t savour my kiss and don’t think of me in times of need. I’m not telling you to forget me, because you know I could never do the same, I’m just asking you to let me go. I’ll forever feel that burning, guilt sensation in my throat when someone mentions your name from now on, but I deserve that and you hate me now I know you do Josh but I can’t live here anymore, I can’t live with people who don’t even want me as their son let alone in their house. My family don’t love me Josh and it hurts. I promise to always wear that jacket and no matter how dirty it is I’ll never wash your scent away, the smell of home and the cheap Ohio gift shops which we loved so much and when I close my eyes I picture your arms on my waist like the first time, dancing in the rain to loving someone because that was our song. Just know I’ll always need to feel your touch again because your fingertips were safer than the house my mother brought me up in. I’ll always look out for those eyes that told my story like a verse from an unfinished song I wrote, and I’ll forever listen out for that laugh that was my main purpose in the world. There will never be another love like ours. I didn’t deserve you, the nights we slept at yours I hardly blinked the whole time in case I missed a single thing you did, because you always viewed me as the rarest but that was you, the man everyone craved. The man I owe my life. It’s fine if you’re angry at me ill just blame it on the times, please go out and love again don’t wait for me my angel, you’re just wasting your life. Don’t stop drumming ever and please god don’t ever run out of hair dye, but for the final time I love you and falling in love with you was the best decision I ever made and I’d fall for you again if I could, move on now sweet prince. Thankyou. you Joshua dun are my soulmate. Don’t give up just yet cause we all need you now.  
\- Tyler joseph”


End file.
